Roy's Special Ink
by X-Feli-Chan-X
Summary: Roy develops his own..."Ink." Riza is not amused.  Rated 'M' to be safe.


**Just a little crack fic I made due to a typo in an RP with Mii-ch4n...XD**

**Hope you all enjoy!**

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><p>"Colonel Mustang."<p>

"Yes, Lieutenant?" his voice was smooth and held just a _tad_ bit of cockiness in it, as he leaned against Hawkeye's desk.

"Do you want to tell me why your paperwork is wet?" The slight shake in her voice was the only indication of her anger.

The two were alone in the office, working through their lunch break. Or rather, Roy was supposed to be, Riza was just there because she needed to make sure Roy was doing his work.

"Hm, maybe I used too much of my _special_ ink."

Riza could feel her right eyebrow begin to twitch irritatedly.

"Sir. There is no ink on here at all," her tone had turned a bit snappy. "Your signature isn't even on here, sir."

"Sure there is, I _made_ it myself," a smirk grew on the colonel's face. Riza frowned and picked up a piece of paper, her nose scrunching up at the sudden scent that came up from the paper. "It took a little while to make. And the signature is there. It's more of a _personal_ signature...DNA, if you will." Roy chuckled to himself.

Riza's eyes widened as she quickly dropped the soggy paper back onto her desk in disgust. She stood quietly and removed her gun from its holster silently. She aimed it at her laughing superior, who froze completely when he heard the gun click off safety.

"Sir, do you mean to tell me...You have your bodily fluids on these papers?"

"I prefer to call it _love juice_, Lieutenant, it sounds nicer." He still had a cocky tone in his voice, not wavering in the slightest.

Riza shot just below his right ear, making him flinch slightly.

"Why the hell would you ejaculate on your paperwork?" Hawkeye shouted, losing her cool.

"I thought it'd be a good idea! It was quicker, didn't make my hand cramp, and I got more completed!" Roy tried to defend himself. He was tempted to cower, but didn't.

"You realize I will have to hand these in, don't you?"

"Yes, Lieutenant, I know. Perhaps I will start a new trend..." he rose his hand to his chin, smirking as he said this.

"I don't think you will, sir," the Lieutenant shook her head as she sighed. "If anything, I fear you may be demoted."

"Nonsense!" he laughed, "It's an ingenious way to mix pleasure and work perfectly!"

Riza had begun to tune him out as she thought of the costs it would take to get fresh copies of those documents.

_'Too much,'_ she sighed again as she returned her gun to its holster. Staring in disgust at the wet smelly papers on her desk, she knew she'd have to call the janitorial staff as soon as she could to disinfect her desk.

Pulling on some gloves from the first aid kit, she deposited the documents into a grocery bag and took them down to be filed. By the time she returned, the lunch break was almost over. Roy had left his door opened to the office. Sitting at her desk, she reached over the wet area of her desk to get to her phone. Just after she had hung up with the head janitor, assured they would be by within half an hour, but embarrassed as to why she had to call them in the first place, the rest of the team came back from lunch. Their conversation, however, stopped once they entered the office.

"Well, Hawkeye," Breda chuckled, "so this is why you didn't want to join us for lunch today."

Riza sat stone still behind her desk. He couldn't possibly be implying what she thought he was implying! When she saw the faint blushes on Falman and Fuery's faces and heard Havoc chuckling, she knew he was. She would have ordinarily taken out her gun and told them that they were talking nonsense and to get back to work. But she was absolutely stunned.

There was _so_ much evidence against her. The heavy scent of Roy's 'love juice' (she cringed at the word), the wet spot on _her_ desk! And there was no way they would believe her if she told them what he had really done...

Just then, Roy decided to walk out of his office, in his hands more damp papers. Dropping them onto her desk he turned to leave back to his office saying,

"Well, I've got more paperwork to do, I should be done with that in a little while. Then I'm afraid I will have to be done for the day!" He closed his door with a _'bang,'_ leaving the entire office in a stunned silence.

"That's not really..." Breda started.

"Is it?" and Havoc ended.

Riza nodded, biting her lip as she held her breath so she wouldn't have to smell the papers. The other men didn't quite believe her until they heard him moan alone in his office.


End file.
